Comfort
by Summers-Girl
Summary: During the summer Buffy ran away Xander offers Joyce some comfort of the unexpected variety. Xander/Joyce. Not smut, just sweet. Kissage though.
1. Comfort 1

Set in the Summer between Becoming Part Two and Anne. About one month after Buffy has been gone.

Beware: This is Xander/Joyce filled and if that wigs you out back away now like I back away from Buffy/Giles. That is; run.

I really wanted this to be a smutarific fic but somehow it ended up being emotional and comfort based. Damn those characters taking control of the story. I've also tried to fit this into canon as much as I can. So I took into context the followings things.

1. Xander stating in DMP 'Well you did. You should have seen what you put her [Joyce through'. I mean how would he know unless he spent a lot of the Summer with her? Comforting her?

2. Xander says in The Zeppo that he had never been up with people before and he was in awe later about the fact of having sex which unfortunately meant no full on action between Xander and Joyce. (Hey, I have other plots in my mind so maybe that will come in another story. Teehee)

3.In DMP when they all run up the stairs away from the zombies is it just me or does Joyce seem to reach for Xander's ass? Perhaps at the last moment only remembering who would see. And he does seem perfectly at home and comfortable in her bedroom and being sat close to her.

I think this all makes the following story pretty reasonable. Enjoy and reviews are the food of life and you wouldn't want me to starve now would you?

* * *

The knock at the door. It had become the only sound that ever truly reached Joyce's ears. That and the phone. Those were the only two things that could possibly hold Buffy on the other end. It never did though. It was always someone else. It had been a month and Joyce had yet to hear one word from Buffy. One word. Mr Giles was flying all over the country looking for her and Joyce was positive he must be using up all his funds on plane fights, but if she was honest with herself she really didn't care. He had to find Buffy. He owed her that much.

The knocking persisted and Joyce got up out of her seat on the sofa with a sigh, trying to suppress with all her might the subconscious hope that it was going to be Buffy at the front door, returned from wherever the hell she had been.

She pulled open the door without peering through the glass panes and on the doorstep found-

"Oh, Xander, uh, hi"

He just smiled at her, that friendly smile of his that Joyce was sure showed he always knew more about what was going on than he ever let on to Buffy or Willow. The smile was reassuring.

"Hi, Mrs S. Can I come in?"

At this question, Joyce realized she had been letting the poor boy stand on the doorstep, not even attempting to invite him in, but her mind was elsewhere these days.

"Oh, yes, yes of course," She assured him, stepping aside to allow him into the hall.

"So uh still nothing from Buffy then?" He asked as she closed the front door and gestured for him to go on into the living room.

"No," She shook her head sadly, "All these thoughts keep going through my mind as to why she hasn't called. She could be trapped, in danger, hurt"

"I know you're worried Mrs Summers, but trust me no way could Buffy get trapped," He assured her, "I mean with her strength that's not really much to worry about there. Trust me"

"Her strength?" Joyce frowned at him.

"You know...her Slayer strength?" Xander prompted and then began to panic, "You did know right? Giles told me you did..."

"Oh I knew...I mean I've been told but- I didn't know_ you _knew. How do you know? Mr Giles said this...Slayer _thing_ was a secret identity or something just as ridiculous sounding so how come you-"

"Giles didn't tell you that part huh?" He guessed correctly.

"What part?"

"About me and Will?" He said, "Knowing. We've kinda known since the beginning..."

"What?" At the tone in her voice, Xander momentarily worried that the anger was directed at him but when she started muttering about Giles he realized it was the G-Man that was in trouble.

"How much exactly did he tell you?" Xander asked the woman carefully and she stopped her cursing as she looked at him.

"Just that Buffy is the Slayer, that that is some of super girl who fights vampires or something and that he's her...her Watcher"

"That's all he told you?"

"There's more to tell?" Joyce asked him and the way she looked at him told Xander he'd better answer honestly.

"Kinda...it's just sorta more complicated than Buffy Slayer, Slayer kill Vamps"

"Complicated how...?" Joyce asked slowly.

"Well, I mean there's demons...and apocalypses a-and-" He looked at Joyce and faltered, "And stuff like that..."

"Apoca..." Joyce sighed and walked over to fall into a seat on the couch, "Oh I'm not sure I even want to know anymore. I don't think I can take hearing any of this," She looked up at Xander, "Is this why Buffy left? Because of the...Slaying? I mean in her note she said some things, brief things, and they didn't really explain much. Just said she was-s," Joyce's voice started to break slightly, "that she was, s-sorry. Oh god," She blinked away tears, "I'm sorry. I'm an emotional wreck right now."

"Makes sense," He shrugged, hovering for a moment where he stood before deciding he would take the seat beside her, "But that's only really partly why Buff left"

"Is it because of what I said?" She asked sadly, "Buffy always did take things literally...I would never mean...I could never mean-"

"Mean what?" Xander asked, "What is it?"

"When...the night before she left. I had just...Buffy had just told me what she was. I-I tried to reason with her, she said she had to go...but, I wanted, I wanted her to stay, to explain, or to admit she'd...been making it up or something. But she ignored me, went to leave anyway. I was so desperate Xander...it just came out of my mouth before I could stop it"

"What?" Xander asked, but it was a kind asking not an urgent or prodding one, "What is it you said?"

"I told her that..." Joyce sighed, "I told her that if she walked out of this house she...oh god, I said she couldn't come back. And she didn't. She left. And what if that's why? What if she thought she didn't have a home to go back to? What if that's it?"

Unable to hold it in anymore, and feeling like all her emotions had been voiced and made vulnerable anyway, Joyce burst into tears, sobs that she tried to cover and sniffle back. She failed at this miserably.

Xander wasn't quite sure what to do. Adults didn't cry. Adults were...the non-crying type. Then again, this wasn't a normal situation and what could Mrs Summers be expected to do except, well, cry? He patted her gently on the shoulder.

"Trust me that won't be it," He told her kindly, "Buffy'll know you were just upset. And we all say things we don't mean when we're upset right? Buffy left...I think she left because of other things"

"What other things?" Joyce sniffled, looking at him and he looked awkward and uncomfortable.

"You really wanna know?" He asked, "I mean this might be more than you-"

"Please, just tell me," She told him quietly and sadly.

"Well...it was Angel. You know Angel right?" He asked and she nodded.

"Buffy's boyfriend. Or, I mean he used to be. She and...er...Spike were talking about him the night...the night we argued. Something a-about stopping him, I think"

"Yeah," Xander nodded, "Stop the big old psychotic vampire"

"A vampire?" Joyce asked, "_He_ was a vampire? She was dating a vampire...but I thought...I thought she was meant to kill vampires. How could she...?"

"Well, see, he didn't always used to be evil," Xander explained, looking at Joyce warily to see how she was taking all this information, "There was this...curse...thing and it gave him his soul. A vampire with a soul. Personally, I didn't think it was that romantic but Buffy, well she totally dug it" He looked at Joyce again with a sigh, "Look, are you sure you wanna know this?" She nodded.

"Please, continue." She told him, "I think...I need to know"

"Okay...well, they were dating. He with his soul, helping her with his vamp strength and then...well-" He looked at Joyce, "You know that they erm..." He cleared his throat, "That they were tender right?"

She nodded in confirmation, a slight smile threatening to play at her lips at the term 'were tender'.

"Well, after that he sorta...well lost that soul. Some 'moment of perfect happiness' clause and seems his er...moments with Buffy were just that"

"And that's...when he changed..." Joyce gathered, "That's when...oh god, if I'd known what he was I wouldn't have...I wouldn't have talked to him, I would have just ran inside"

"Wait, what?" Now it was Xander's turn to ask the questions, "What do you mean? Angel spoke to you? Evil Angel? I mean Buff mentioned something about him drawing you sleeping or something but I didn't think he actually-"

"Drawing me? What?"

"Okay," Xander put his hands in the air in a 'whoa, stop' motion, "We're just confusing each other now. What do you mean you wouldn't have spoken to him?"

"What do you mean he drew me?" Joyce countered.

"I asked the question first"

"I'm older"

"I hate that excuse," He sighed, "Well, Angel when he's all la-la-la psychotic he likes...he likes to draw his victims before he kills them. He did it with Buffy, but didn't actually get to complete the deal. Then he drew you. While you were asleep. He left the sketch at Willow's I think. Buffy found it and..." Something clicked into place, "...and that was the night you talked to him wasn't it? God," He cursed.

"He was outside. One the front lawn. When I got home." Joyce explained, "He came over as I got in the car. Started saying things about Buffy. I just thought that he was...an ex that couldn't let go. I mean he clearly wasn't stable but I never thought..."

"That he was trying to kill you?" Xander guessed, "That's why Will did the de-invite. So he couldn't get in the house."

Joyce suddenly started crying again.

"Oh no-please, no don't do that," Xander begged, "It's me isn't it? I'm a terrible explainer. I just say things. You should get Will. She'd be nicer. Make you cry less"

"It's not you," Joyce assured him, mid-cry, "I just...all this Buffy had to go through, all these terrible things and I couldn't even be there for her. I didn't even..." She trailed off as she started crying more and Xander started up the comfort-patting of her back again and was rather startled when this prompted her to lean into him for a full-on hug. Startle over, he shrugged and put his right arm around her in the same way he did with Willow when she got upset over something. Usually though she was crying over the animal charity adverts while Joyce was crying over her daughter which, admittedly, was slightly different.

"And I just kept going on at her. Saying she wasn't trying hard enough, grounding her...and god, she had enough to worry about..."

"That wasn't your fault," Xander told her, meaning every word, "You were just being a good Mom. You didn't know" Okay, now she was holding his other hand in her own. She gave it a thankful squeeze.

"I'm sorry for crying all over you like this," She apologized, though she made no movement to lean up off of him despite the fact he had fallen back against the sofa because of it. Thinking on it, and looking, he thought this was a really weird way to be sat with your best friend's Mom.

"Not a problem," He told her, "People cry all over me all the time. By people I mean Will and Buffy. And Cordelia. Occasionally"

"Cordelia," She repeated, still holding his hand but now she'd rested her own on his thigh, "How are you two? Buffy...Buffy told me you two had started dating"

"Pretty good," He replied, "I mean most of our time together she spends insulting me, but that's Cordy. She's away on vacation now so I probably won't see her again till school starts"

"That's a shame..."

"Yeah, shame," Xander agreed but was a bit distracted that while she had let go of his hands, hers was still on his thigh and it was absently making light circles. And she was still leant against him. Yep, this was distracting. He looked at her and saw she was looking at the hand that was tracing circles on his thigh. Okay, so she was aware she was doing it. That was a little more distracting.

The hand movements felt nice. Nicely distracting. And her hair was nice. He hadn't noticed that much before. It looked nice though. Soft. He resisted the urge to stroke it as that, he believed, would just be odd. Not as odd as wanting to though.

She seemed to notice that he was watching her and she glanced up at him, her hand movements ceasing.

"Oh I'm sorry," She apologized, "I...didn't...well...I did but..." She sighed, looking at him, keeping eye contact, "You know you should probably go." She told him.

"Go?"

"I'm lonely," She explained, "And with Buffy gone and everything...I'm just...I'm really needy right now"

"Oh..." He said, not quite comprehending what she was telling him. She had nice eyes though. Brown. He liked brown eyes. He wondered whether she liked brown eyes also. He had brown eyes.

She maintained the eye contact, her eyes searching his face, seemingly taking in every feature.

"You're not going," She said to him,almost urgently as though needing him to leave.

"Well, you'd need to-" He was going to say 'lean off me' but he was cut off by the fact she was kissing him. Her lips on his. Mrs Summers' lips on his. Buffy's Mom's lips on his. Nope, no matter how he phrased it, the fact that it actually felt good over rode any concerns about who it was kissing him. Suddenly she pulled away, mid-kiss, not even allowing it to be completed and Xander was thrown by the feeling of disappointment that shivered through him. Did he really want her that much? The thought hadn't really occurred to him. Then he thought back to Valentine's Day and the dreams he'd had after that and realized the thought actually had occurred to him. Once or twice. Possibly more.

"Oh god," Joyce gasped, "What am I doing?" She asked, seemingly talking to herself, "Oh god, I'm sorry" She apologized, "I should..you need to go..." She told him, going to clamber up off of him but before she could she felt him take her hand and he pulled her back down onto the seat before he was kissing her again.

And this was a shock to her. It was one thing to begin kissing him out of neediness. Just wanting, needing someone to be there, to connect, to distract. But to have him initiate the kiss himself. Why on earth would he? She was his friend's Mother. All sensible thoughts such as this flew out the window though as the kiss progressed. A very impressive kiss; the boy had skills that was for sure she noted as his tongue danced inside her mouth, toying, almost tickling her own. Okay, this was wrong. She shouldn't be...tongues with her daughter's friend. He wasn't even legal age. And she was old enough to be his Mother...but damn, the boy could kiss. And why was he kissing her unless...unless he wanted to?

She put both her palms against his chest pushing him away gently yet forcefully so the kiss was broken and looked at him, searching his face for a single clue to what was going on, what he was thinking.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Uh...I might be wrong...but erm, you started it," He pointed out, looking slightly nervous as though he was now worried he had read into non-existent things and made the wrong move.

"Erm...yes, I know," She blushed, "But why are you...why are you continuing it?"

"Look, the thing with boys...we wonder about girls. Actually, that's all we do. Occasionally we think on food. But mostly; it's girls" He told her, "But there's...something else with women. If you ask me to explain it we'd be here all day, but there is. I mean, every guy has fantasies about their best friend's Mom...and it's kinda hard not to when they're as good looking as well, er, you" He grinned a lopsided grin slightly after saying that giving him the slight look of a puppy dog waiting sweetly for approval. He had evidently said the right thing though as within a short moment her lips were on his again only this time she wasn't holding back. And then she pulled away again. He sighed in frustration.

"Would you stop doing that?" He asked.

"Y-you want this...?" She asked him warily, "I mean I'm only doing this because I'm needy and..."

"Well, needs..." He said, reaching over and kissing along her neck which he found made her give an involuntary shiver of pleasure, "should definitely," More kisses, more shivers, "be met" He gently pulled her closer and for once, she didn't break off or pull away, as the two leant towards one another before their lips brushed one another's, falling into a kiss. Joyce did seem slightly reluctant at first, but then her mouth opened slightly to him and he teased her lips before plunging in, gaining entrance. And when she put her arms around him, gripping his back tightly with her fingers he knew she wasn't going to be pulling away anytime soon. Which was when he wrapped his own hands around her surprisingly tiny waist and guided her onto his lap.

"Xander...you're so nice..." She told him, looking at his chocolate brown eyes and dark hair that flopped adorably over his forehead and the sweet smile, before kissing him again. "So sweet..." She found herself toying with the shirt he had open over his tee, starting to push it off his shoulders. This was beginning to lead somewhere it shouldn't be led; he was just a boy, not even legal. But she found it so hard to stop and he didn't seem to be stopping her. But why would he? He was a seventeen year old boy; any chance of action and they went for it. But he'd said he'd wanted to. He'd said she was good looking. Hadn't he?

She continued to toy with his shirt, never stopping the kissing, before eventually pushing it down his arms and he shrugged out of the item himself as he kissed along her jaw bone. He began brushing over the buttons on her shirt and after a moment began to start undoing them. She stopped him with a hand on his.

"Xander...have you ever...?"

He shook his head. No, he hadn't. God, he hoped that wasn't going to change anything. He really didn't want this to stop. She felt so good in his arms, his hands neatly fitting into the curve of her back, and her kisses were definitely of the good. The very good in fact. And he hadn't been lying when he'd said about fantasies. And she did look great. Really great. He liked her in blue.

"Xander, I..." She started to get that look of uncertainty again. He really didn't want her to go down that thought path again, so instead he gently slipped his hand under her blouse, caressing the skin just under her bra, it felt so cool under his warm palms and for a moment he wondered whether he had been too forward, pushing a small opportunity too far, but she kissed him again before unbuttoning the shirt herself, shrugging the item aside. Kissing him again, she took his hand and gently guided him away from the sofa and across the room. He looked up the stairs, the direction in which they were going to be heading, and barely concealed a gulp. Go there and there was no coming back. Looking at Joyce and considering the fact that she was stood next time with a shirt no longer on, it was funny how that thought didn't really seem to bother him. Unable to hold back a second longer, he kissed her again, pushing her against the wall at the bottom of the stairs. Kissing her lips, her cheeks, her jaw line, her neck, down to her chest.

Joyce was amazed by how the boy moved. His hands being as agile and arousing as his kisses. For someone who claimed he'd never been with a woman before he certainly knew how to use his hands.

"You're way too dressed," She told him, "More so than me anyway" She added, pointing out her own topless situation before gathering up his t-shirt in her hands and pulling it up over his head, tossing the item aside, before letting her hands fall around him, low enough to reach his butt. She smiled as she cupped it, giving it a squeeze. Yep, that definitely felt good. And from the way Xander's eyes dilated even more, he thought it felt good too.

"C'mon," She said, before kissing him again. She then took his hand and led him up the stairs.

He practically stumbled up the stairs as he watched her walk in front of him, leading him up the steps. She still had her pants on. Linen. Beige. And something he really wanted to take off. He wanted to take his jeans off too. Moments ago they had been perfectly comfortable, his favorite pair, and now he couldn't bear them and was desperate to rid himself of the item of clothing.

Once in her bedroom she kicked the door shut behind them before picking up where they had left off downstairs as she kissed him feverishly and Xander returned the passion, running his hands along her arms, holding onto her tightly.

As she kissed him, she ran her hands along his chest, feeling and exploring every contour and enjoying every bit of what she felt. With what he wore you would never be able to tell the muscle tone he held underneath. It was definitely a surprise of the pleasant variety, the same as his willingness.

The two fell onto the bed, both remaining sat up though as their kisses and ministrations picked up pace and passion it was suspected that the seated position wouldn't last for long.

God, she needed him so much, she clung at him and she was sure her fingernails were digging into his skin, but it didn't give him pause, in fact it only seemed to encourage him further as he trailed kissing down her front, over her chest, her breasts, and as he reached her stomach she flinched slightly. She knew that she wasn't terribly unattractive and everything was held together pretty well- and she had to admit that Xander's interest in her had definitely given her an ego boost in the looks department- but her stomach was a vulnerable place. It didn't hide anything, didn't fool. And although she was lucky enough to have far fewer wrinkles than any other woman of her age she knew- Carole complained about it often enough, in a friendly teasing way of course- but her stomach was not as firm as it used to be and would serve as a reminder of how old she actually was.

Xander felt the flinch as he reached her stomach and had a strong feeling he knew what her worry was. She seemed to be full of insecurities, ones he had never even realized she had before now she had hid them so well, but he seriously didn't understand why she had them. In his opinion, she was gorgeous and even he had to admit that seventeen year old boys had a tendency to be picky and shallow. So if he thought that of her, it definitely had to be true. If only she would just realize it.

Instead of saying this though, he decided to prove it in another way as he continued to gently kiss every part of her stomach and at the same time started to work on the side zip of her trousers, working it open slowly.

"God, you're beautiful..." He murmured, not even meaning to say the words out loud. She looked at him apprehensively before standing up slightly to step gracefully out of them. She motioned for him to stand up also and feeling powerless to whatever she asked, he did so without question. She stepped forward. Her hands reaching for the button on his jeans, undoing it, before slowly unzipping the rest, her hands reaching around the waistband and pushing them down to the point that they fell down of their own accord. He stepped out of the leg holes, before kicking the jeans aside out of the way.

Standing before one another, both in their underwear, it instantly made them equals,no other precedents or conceptions between them. And Joyce stepped toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he put them around her waist and the two continued kissing one another.

She needed this. She just didn't realize how much. She knew she needed something, someone to connect with, to distract her from everything going on, everything that was tearing her apart inside...but if she were honest she had always suspected it would end up being Mr Giles. Nearer her age, cute in a befuddled British sort of way, but no, it had been Xander. Seventeen year old Xander and her daughter's best friend. He just seemed to understand so much, and he was so sweet and caring, and kind, and cute and the way he had said she was beautiful...

They fell back onto the bed, this time lay down, and despite the fact he was on top he in no way exerted dominance, he continued to maintain a sense of equality between them, that neither of them was the dominant.

He was kissing along her shoulder whilst reaching under her to unclasp her bra when he felt her shake slightly and he paused in confusion and concern, sitting back up slightly to look at her and saw that she was crying. Again.

"Oh...Joyce, you're not..." He looked at her, "You're not crying coz of me are you? Coz really, if I'm that bad, just tell me and..."

She shook her head, turning on her side as she continued to cry and as understanding reached him, he reached up off of her and lay at her side.

"No," He said, "This is about Buffy isn't it?"

She managed a nod through the silent tears.

"Here I use you and say I need...and then lead up here and I find I can't think of anything but Buffy...I'm sorry..." She apologized as she cried and he rested his hand on her arm soothingly.

"Why are you sorry?" He asked, "It's understandable. I wouldn't expect you to be thinking of anything but Buffy right now..." He told her, "She's your daughter and you don't know where she is. You're worried. That's understandable"

She shifted around so so she was facing him, a hand reaching up to stroke his cheek gently.

"You understand so much," She smiled softly at him, "You're older than your years aren't you? You should let on more often"

"And kill the surprise?" He teased, prompting a small smile from Joyce but it was choked by another sob as she began crying softly again. He put his arms around her and the two lay there; Joyce curled into him against his chest, crying softly while Xander had his arms around her, holding onto her, offering as much comfort and support as he could.

* * *

Morning light poured through the slither of a gap in the curtain and Joyce slowly opened her eyes, awakeness reaching her. She was warm and cosy and felt safe. A man's arms were around her, holding her supportively, warmly. She snuggled against the man, the feeling was nice and reassuring. They were under the covers, though she didn't recall climbing under them at any point in the night. The man must have shifted the two of them under the duvet at some point. The man. Her eyes widened as the memory came rushing back to her of who it was. She craned her neck to look at the man behind and saw that indeed it was Xander Harris she was in bed with, his arms wrapped around her in such a...loving way.

Nothing had happened, she remembered. Well nothing 'all the way' had happened. Though she had kissed and undressed him enough to feel unprepared to look him in the eye again. Ever. And although nothing had happened they were both interlocked here, in her bed, under the covers, and both were only in their underwear.

He was a heavy sleeper, as most teenage boys were, so she was able to shrug out of his embrace gently without waking him. She slipped out of bed, grabbing the nightgown that was presently hung over the wardrobe. Most she had were silk but this particular one was red and that wasn't exactly the image she wanted to put across after last night. However as she heard Xander stirring she felt she had no choice as hurriedly she grabbed the item, wrapped it around her and left the room, going down the stairs as she tied the wrap.

* * *

She was busying herself in the kitchen, making herself breakfast- something indulgent and ignorant of her diet, pancakes- when she hear the sound of footfalls on the steps. Xander. She heard him pause at the bottom, no doubt picking up the t-shirt that she had folded neatly over the banister for him, having been unable to bear the thought of actually going back into her room and leaving it there for him.

When he walked into the kitchen she made sure her back was turned, focused on cooking.

"Uh...mornin'," He said simply and she forced to turned around and look at him. God, why did he always have to wear that grin?

"Hello," Was all she found she could say in reply.

"Are those pancakes you're making?" He asked, peering around her. He was trying not to focus on what she was wearing. He liked her in blue, yes, but he liked her in red even better.

"Yes," She smiled in relief, glad he had given her something to think about. Something else to think about, "Would you like some?"  
"That is a question that never needs asking," He informed her with a smile.

"Xander," She said when she eventually handed him the plate of pancakes, not quite making eye contact with him, "I...about last night...I..."

"If you say sorry, I may not enjoy the pancakes," He warned her.

"What?"

"Look," He said, "You were upset, you needed...comfort, I gave it. I mean nothing happened"

"Well not completely, but I kissed you" She pointed out, "Undressed you. Attempted to-"

"And through all that I was unwilling?" Xander shook his head, "Trust me. There was nothing that I wasn't wanting myself okay. If anything, I should be the one embarrassed."

"You?" She asked.

"Well, yeah," He nodded, getting up out of his seat at the island, "You were vulnerable, you were the one upset, and I took advantage of that"

"Xander, no, I-"

"See?" He pointed out, cutting her off, "We could go in circles like this forever. Me blaming me, you blaming you. You needed comfort and I gave it you." He said, standing directly in front of her now, "And I meant what I said last night when I said you were attractive. Or beautiful. Or gorgeous. I had a lot of words in my head- not sure which one I said," He admitted, "And you know...if you need comfort again, I'm here, you know?"

"Comfort?" She looked at him warily.

"No action," He said with a slight smile, "I mean unless you like couldn't resist the Xandman." She laughed a little and Xander wasn't sure whether to take that as a good thing or a bad thing, "Just comfort"

"Comfort," She repeated as he gently tucked her hair behind her ears, away from her face. It was a loving and caring gesture, one she wouldn't expect fro someone so young. But last night she had said he was older than his years. An old soul with a young face.

"Comfort," He also repeated, before kissing her gently on the lips, "And maybe occasionally kissing..." He admitted.

"And occasionally kissing," She repeated.


	2. Comfort 2

Another chapter of this despite the fact I intended for it to be a ONESHOT. And they you all got wicked invested and seemed to adore me even more than usual (hahaha) and so I felt I couldn't not continue it.

So here's another little installment and I plan for more to follow. Possibly up to five separate 'comfort' moments. It's a consequence chapter in a way- how Joyce deals with what happened, how Xander deals (i.e goes with the flow...) and gives a conclusion that allows me to add other chapters. Thank you very much to all who reviewd the last chapter and enjoy.

* * *

She'd had to leave the house. She really hadn't wanted to though. What if Buffy called? And she wasn't there to answer the phone? She had taken her cell with her- Buffy knew that number- and held it tightly in her hand constantly all the way to the store, while she was in the store and now while she was driving back. If she was holding it already she could answer it much quicker if Buffy called. When Buffy calls.

She was just looking through the left window to see down the crossroads before driving on when something caught her eye, or rather someone. It was Xander, walking alone, and cradling his left arm at an odd angle. Joyce bit her lip in contemplation. Despite their last conversation after she had done the embarrassing act of going to sleep with him she hadn't been able to even consider inviting him over for a chat since the semi-awkward morning conversation. Yes, he had said he wasn't effected or annoyed or even embarrassed by what had happened, but Joyce was. Yes, she had been needy, was needy still, but that was no excuse to...he was seventeen for crying out loud. However, the fact that he seemed to be favoring his left arm in a painful way made her decision for her.

"Xander!" She called out and he looked about him, confused by the untraceable voice shouting his name, and then his eyes settled on the SUV and his expression relaxed. Mostly.

"Oh hi," He smiled,walking over, "Hi Mrs Summers"

"Joyce," She found herself correcting, and then cursed herself inwardly for doing so. Way to keep your distance, Joyce. "Are you okay?" She asked.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine," He nodded.

"But your arm...it's..."

"Oh," Xander seemed to only just remember he had an injury, "Yeah, little bit o demony vamp trouble."

"What happened?" She asked, concern outweighing embarrassment as she got out of the car to see him.

"Got it twisted by a vamp and then one of it's galpals did a scratch number on it. No, no- it's fine-" He protested as she took his arm and gently rolled up the sleeves of his colorful Hawaiian over-shirt. It was bruised terribly and a gash ran along one side of his arm. Not to mention his arm was sprained by the twist Xander had mentioned.

"Oh my god..." She gasped, "This needs...you can't just leave this"

"Well, 'fraid it's the only option," He told her before going on to explain, "One of the glorious sides to Slayage; can't go to hospitals because we can't explain how it happened. Usually Giles fixes us up or something but he's outta town at the mo looking for...looking..." He trailed off.

"Looking for Buffy," Joyce finished with a sad sigh. "Well, you can't go home with your arm like that" She got back in the car and when he just stood there beside the vehicle, not going anywhere she sighed again but this one was of slight impatience, "Get in Xander," She told him simply, "And we'll see what we can do about that arm"

* * *

"So you were...fighting...vampires?" Joyce asked slowly after they had been driving in silence for a few minutes.

"What?" He asked, thrown by the question a moment, apparently having been lost in his own thoughts, "Oh yeah. Well, with...with you know...someone has to keep the vampire population down"

"Oh," Joyce tried to sound as though she understood but she just came out sounding lost and overwhelmed.

"It's alright. Mostly," He assured her, "This is a one off," He added, gesturing at his arm.

"How is it?" She asked, unable to take her eyes off the road, "Is it still bleeding?"

"Uh..."

"Let's see," Whilst keeping one eye on the road she pushed up his sleeve again to check on the injury. He tried to ignore the fact that her fingers felt nice on his arm. He would also not wonder whether she thought his arm felt nice under her fingers. "It seems to have stopped a little..." She turned onto Revello Drive. "C'mon," She said as she pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine. "I think I have some bandages...some general First Aid things in the kitchen..."

* * *

"Just take a seat" She told him, gesturing vaguely at the island as they entered the kitchen. She dropped her handbag on the side and began rooting quietly through the cupboards in search of the First Aid box.

While she was doing this, in the silence Xander was left with his thoughts. His initial ones were that his arm hurt. A lot. And he was glad that it was actually going to be seen to. His parents didn't pay much attention to him but he doubted even Jessica Harris would be able to ignore the injury.

His thoughts then wandered to just over a week ago when he had been here last. That had taken an unexpected turn hadn't it? He had not even imagined that going round to see how Buffy's Mom was doing would end up in her trying to seduce him. That of course had taken another turn when, both of them having got into bed she had just burst into tears. He remembered holding her as she fell asleep and thinking he was going to kill Buffy when she gets back. And he believed she would come back. She may be gone months but she would eventually come home. And when she did...

They had concluded that event with Xander saying he would be there for her if she ever needed any comfort again, just someone to talk to and- if she felt like it since he definitely wasn't complaining- and kissing. Just kissing. However, he hadn't seen her once since then and she hadn't called him and he figured her too embarrassed to face him, despite his reassurances that there was nothing to be embarrassed about. In fact he believed the only reason he was here now and she was talking to him was her concern for his arm and his welfare outweighed any other fears she may have.

"Here we go," She said, turning to face him and dropping a box of medical whosits on the counter. He leaned over and saw it included band-aids, gauze, band-aid stitches and numerous other things he believed only parents and doctors knew the use for. "You'll need to take your shirt off," Her eyes widened a little, "Just the outer shirt I mean. You can, you can keep the tee on"

"Right," He nodded with a small smile before carefully taking off his shirt and dumping it onto one of the empty stools beside him. With his arm bare he saw Joyce wince at the damage that had been done. It was actually worse than he thought.

"How did this _happen_?" She asked again in disbelief as she dipped a cloth in warm water, before using it to gently clean the wound first. "Where were the others? Couldn't they help you?"

"They were a little pre-occupied with their own dancing partners," He replied and then literally winced as she dabbed the cloth on a particularly sore part of his arm.

"Oh sorry!" She immediately apologized, putting her other hand over the wound to cool it and soothe the pain.

"It's cool," He assured her and she looked at him as though trying to read his expression to see if he was just saying that to make her feel better. She then seemed to realize how close she was stood next to him and that was she holding tightly onto his arm which admittedly felt as nice, firm and muscular as it had the last time.

Xander saw her suddenly became incredibly uncomfortable.

"Joyce-" He began to say, knowing exactly what she was thinking, but she spoke over him.

"How's Cordelia?" She asked as she put the cloth aside, the wound not cleaned, and picked up the gauze, pads and square white covers that looked to Xander like over-sized band-aids.

"Cor? I uh, haven't heard from her since she went on holiday," He shrugged with the arm she wasn't tending to, "Probably spending as much time getting as much non-wrinkle causing rays as possible"

"And Willow? How is she doing? I've not seen her in a while"  
"Oh she's good. Great. She said something a power cut on her block last night but other than that..." He looked at her, "She said she'll stop by to see you soon"  
"Hm," Joyce said non-commitedly as she began to tape the gauze and padding carefully and slowly onto his arm, working her way along the cut, but he immediately picked up on it.

"What's that mean?" He asked.

"Nothing."

"No, it means something," He insisted, "You have something face. In fact right now you have Serious!Joyce face" She glared at him a moment and he held up his right hand in mock surrender, "Don't give me the look. I'm just saying- one mention of Will visiting and you go poker face on me"

"I'm sorry," She apologized, "It's just...I keep having people say they'll come see me and then they never do. And then I also think 'Why do people keep saying that?' I'm not some insane old lady who needs people to visit her. I mean you're the only that's actually come to see me and not..." She sighed, "Looked at me like some pathetic Mother who's slowly falling into despair and insanity" She laughed slightly with nervous embarrassment.

"Well, you're not," He said simply just as she finished bandaging his cut.

"Thank you," She gave him a small smile, "But now I believe I've gone and ruined that by what I did last week"

"No, listen y-"

"No, I did," Joyce insisted, "You came around, being the nice friend that you are with almost everyone and then I come onto you" She laughed at herself, "My daughter's best friend. No matter how needy or lost I feel I shouldn't...become some Mrs Robinson. And you were wonderfully nice about it, no matter how much of a fool I made of myself and I know you said you'd always be there to talk, but well, I'm afraid I just can't. And that's why I've ruined it. As presently, I know we're having a relatively normal conversation, but every minute or so I keep thinking back to the fact that you've seen me in my underwear...oh god" At that memory she abruptly turned away, gathering up the remnants of the First Aid kit. "And that's why I've ruined it," She finished with her back to him as she put the box away. "So thank you anyway Xander, and your arm is...is much better now" She kept her back to him.

"If it helps, I thought you looked really good. In said underwear"

"Thank you Xander, but no, I'm afraid it doesn't help," She replied, still refusing to look at him and keeping her eyes firmly on whatever she could make out through the kitchen window.

"I told you that I didn't mind the kissing-"

"But I mind!" She replied, almost speaking over him as she spun around, finally facing him, "_I _mind" She repeated, "Look, just...I can give you a ride home but I think you should go now"

"I really don't wanna leave you coz...in all honesty, you look a little...not happy"

"Because of you!" She exclaimed and when he recoiled a little, obviously hurt and stung by the comment she relented, "Oh I didn't mean that," She sighed, "At least not literally anyway. I'm sorry Xander it's...I can't think straight at the best of times right now and I don't think it would be very beneficial for me, in my daughter's absence, to start lusting after one of her best friends"

"Lusting eh?" He asked, raising his eyebrows in an overtly suggestive way and she barely hid a smirk.

"Don't begin to make out a joke out of all this, please" She asked of him and he stood up, briefly checking the work she had done on his arm; it was solid.

"Who's joking?" He asked, "I've never been a lustee before. The lust_er_ sure..."

The smirk she had tried to cover moments ago came out in it's entirety now.

"I don't know how the others put up with you," She shook her head with a smile.

"Oh didn't you know?" He grinned as he came to stand beside her, "I'm irresistible"

At this, the smile faded from Joyce's face and the awkwardness she had previously maintained came back. Xander, for once, wasn't quite sure what to say. He attempted to bring the mood back to the light and casual atmosphere they had achieved before he went and opened his mouth and reminded her of...whatever it was he reminded her about. He had an initial idea but the concept that presently she was finding him irresistible was ridiculous.

"Look, I've got nothing to do besides go home and eat pop tarts alone and I'd feel a lot better if I knew you weren't here doing the same"

"I don't eat pop tarts"

"Candy then"

"I'm not kissing you again," She replied, completely throwing Xander a curve ball as she seemed to speak as though he had implied she would which, if his short memory served, he very much hadn't. Before he had time to think any further however yet another curve ball was tossed his way as he found Joyce kissing him again. Softly, gently...almost a thank you kiss if anything. As the kiss continued he began to think that this was the only acceptable way to say thank you. Very nice. But also very confusing considering all that she had just said to him. Eventually she drew away from him.

"One of us is confused here...and I _really_ don't know which" He told her with a bemused expression.

"I was just going to watch a movie," She said in reply, as she pulled away from him.

"Erm...again I speak the speak of the very confused," He told her, "What?"

"You said you were worried I was going to be here sitting alone eating candy," She told him, "And I just...I just don't want you to think that I am. I planned to get a movie out. One of the old black and white ones Buffy..." She faltered, "Buffy and I have logged away somewhere. _From Here to Eternity_ or something."

"Tell me you've got popcorn and I'll be ya film buddy," He grinned and she laughed a little.

"I have popcorn," She assured him, "I mean...if you really want to stay that is..."

"Point the way to the snacks" He 'commanded' and with a smile she directed him to the appropriate cupboard that held all things popcorn.

As he got out the snack and headed over to the microwave with the flat corn-filled, striped paper bag in his hand , he again found himself wondering how exactly he came to be in this situation. As he watched Joyce flit around the kitchen, tidying some things away while getting other stuff together for the two of them, he found himself thinking that right now, he didn't really care.

He had just pressed the button on the microwave to set things going when he felt Joyce come up behind him, reaching her arm over him to cancel the microwave's instructions.

"You pressed 'defrost'" She told him with an amused smile and he inwardly cursed. He'd been so lost in his thoughts he actually hadn't paid attention to what buttons he was pressing, merely estimated the right one. It was really her own fault. She kept inadvertently making him watch her. "It's this one..." She pointed out, pressing the popcorn button. Her body language was a lot more relaxed now and she didn't even seem to be finding it uncomfortable that she was pressed against him to press the microwave buttons despite the fact there was enough room for her to not have to touch him at all. After she pressed 'Start' she looked at Xander with a 'see? Simple' expression so he merely smiled in reply- the sweet smile that Will said all found irresistibly cute. Yeah, it wasn't just the chicas who knew how to work the expressions; Xander Harris was a master.

Joyce found it very hard to resist that smile, it was so very endearing. What made it more so was the fact he knew it was endearing and exploited that fact. And he was so very sweet, and as wrong as she consciously knew all of this was- he was her daughter's friend for crying out loud and barely even an adult- she also knew that right now it was what she needed. It allowed her to forget the heartache of Buffy being gone, even allowed her to forget her own age...she was using him, maybe not in a terribly callous way, but still it was using him and the sweet boy didn't seem to mind one bit. Rather than be concerned about this she chose to take the thought as a compliment before planting a soft, brief kiss on his lips.

The way he returned it, equally soft, but not pulling away, not rejecting her was just what she was calling out for right now, it had gone beyond want and had become a need. Something to fill the whole Buffy had left behind.

No, she wasn't using him. This was comfort.


	3. Comfort 3

zigpal- Haha, smut doesn't come yet. This is just a sweet chapter. But I think I will be definitely having more in the Xoyce Action department next chapter. Definitely. If you can wait for it, haha. ;-) Thanks for the review.

bandgsecurityaw- Thanks very much for the review

rabidreject- Glad I've got you enthralled with another story, haha. Thanks for the review.

gaul1- And it'll just get more interesting. Hopefully. Haha

Nighetray- Thanks very much and well, here is more as requested. Thanks for the review.

* * *

A/N: This doesn't haven't very much smoochy action for the two of them this chapter, I just kinda wanted to show Xander being the White Knight he is for someone besides Buffy. And also, I wanted to show how close the two are becoming in more than a 'Oh, accidental kiss!' kinda way and I hope that comes across. Also, hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones that are to come. :)

* * *

Book club hadn't really been her idea, but with all those sympathetic eyes looking at her in that sorry-for-you way that clearly told Joyce what they were thinking, what they were saying to one another. 'See that one over there? Her daughter ran away, poor thing. Clearly, she wasn't very good at taking care of her. Just locks herself away now...'. So she had needed to get out, needed to lose herself in something besides waiting for the phone to ring. For Buffy to ring.

It was a neighbor from across the street that had suggested book club. Pat her name was. She always wore pastel colored clothing that bore no resemblance to shape in the design and was flighty and was seen every morning pruning her pastel colored azaleas on her front lawn. Usually wearing some kind of straw hat to accompany her pastel clothing.

One day Joyce had been outside in the garden, collecting her mail, drifting through the letters and subconsciously hoping that one would be from Buffy telling her Mom she was okay and was coming home. It wasn't likely, but Joyce refused to give up hope. It was as she was flicking through this mail, mentally dividing junk from the bills that this Pastel Pat headed over and tapped Joyce on the shoulder, startling her a little.

"Mrs Summers?"

"Oh, uh hello...you're erm...erm..." The name had refused to come to her.

"Pat Smith. From across the street"

"Oh, uh of course, right," Joyce smiled, "Hi" Pat said nothing further and Joyce realized she was the one who was going to have to pursue the conversation she didn't wish to have, "Was there something that I...can I help you?"

"Actually, I was wondering if _I_ could help _you_" Pat smiled in a way that made Joyce slightly uncomfortable.

"Help...me?"

"Well, I hope you don't think I'm prying but..." Pat laughed a little, "Well, I did hear about that little incident with your daughter" She lowered her voice to a whisper, "You know with her running away and what have you?" Her voice returned to it's normal pitch, "And I thought maybe you could use a little fun"

"Well, erm...that's very kind of you to ask," Joyce told her, already turning to head back into the house, "But I'm afraid I'm..." She sighed, "I'm not much for socializing...fun, right now. I'm sorry" She went to head in, but Pat had grabbed her arm in a firm yet gentle manner.

"Oh I didn't mean a _night on the town_ or anything," Pat laughed her hands flinging about expressively and also, in Joyce's opinion, unnecessarily. "I have a few clubs I go to. Once a week. Just one night. I thought that might just be perfect for you" She smiled again but Joyce was still as unsure and unconvinced as she had been initially.

"Clubs...?"  
"Yes," Pat nodded with another smile, "We have Spanish Club, Cooking Club, Charades Club-" Joyce blanched at the thought of that one, "Book Club, Debat-"

"Book club?" Joyce couldn't help but ask. She'd always been a keen reader, but since becoming a single Mom and so also the single income in the household, between everything she was juggling she just hadn't had time to read a single good book in the past two or so years. Book Club would be a chance to catch up on old habits, and a welcome distraction from the endless abyss that seemed to lie before her without Buffy there.

"Yes," Pat was more enthusiastic than before now that she realized she had raised a little of Joyce's interest, "Oh it's simply wonderful. There's just four or five of us, all around our age-" Joyce hated that phrase 'Our age'. For one 'our age' seemed to always cover in her mind someone old enough to have retired and she was a long way off. The second reason was when one said 'Our age' it was because they presumed you and the speaker were of the same age when it might not entirely be true- it was very presumptuous. And there was a third reason in this particular case. Factually, Joyce knew that she was probably in Pat's age bracket, but she didn't like to admit it. If she shallowly compared the two of them then she came to the conclusion she seemed- and felt- at least over a decade younger than Pat. At _least._ "We're currently reading _A_ _Handmaid's Tale._ I'm sure Blanche wouldn't mind catching you up or lending you a copy for this first time...oh it's going to be so much fun. You just won't regret it, I promise you!"

* * *

Joyce was already regretting it and this was just the second meeting. She was sat in an uncomfortably over-stuffed chair in Blanche's living room, gripping her copy of

_Deep End of the Ocean_ tightly. These women were practically impossible to stand, though she couldn't deny that Pat was trying to be a very good friend to her in a bad time, and Joyce had to appreciate that. Even if the result was ending up in an episode of _The Twilight Zone. _Some of these women were seriously strange. Though she doubted if she told them all about Buffy's activities that they would believe her. They were a different type of strange. And Blanche was a control freak. She controlled the discussions, she controlled the debates, she even controlled the topics of social conversation in the time spent together after Book Club was officially over. And today she decided that topic of conversation would be Joyce. And by extension, and perhaps the true ulterior motive of the fifty-five-year-old woman, Buffy.

"So have you heard anything from your daughter yet, Joyce?" Blanche asked, wearing what she believed to be a sympathetic expression.

"No, not uh yet...b-but we keep...I mean, I..." She sighed, "We're still looking"

"Well of course you are," Deidre smiled encouragingly, "Never give up. That's the spirit"

"Mm-hmm" Joyce nodded with a tight smile, feeling the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes and like hell was she going to let it all out in front of these women who were virtual strangers, "Look, I hope I don't sound rude, but if you don't mind, I'd really rather not talk about Buffy"

"Well, I understand honey, but you really need to," Blanche told her and the group of women nodded in agreement, "Talking about with us will help you deal, work through the pain"

"I..I..." Joyce faltered, "Maybe, but right now, I really don't wish to"

Blanche went to say something again, to try and convince Joyce otherwise, but Pat spoke over her.

"Well, if that's the way she feels then perhaps we shouldn't push" She smiled at Joyce, "When you're ready to talk about it with us you will won't you?"

Joyce would have nodded, as would have been expected in answer to such a question, but something she had seen outside of Blanche's living room window caught her attention.

"Joyce, what is it?" Pat asked, trying to see what the other woman could. The point was, even if she had seen what Joyce could see, she wouldn't have understood it and therefore found it as shockingly amusing as Joyce did. As the thing that Joyce could see was not a thing, but a person. A Xander-Shaped person. Looking very much shocked and horrified that Joyce was in Blanche Cartman's living room. The same Blanche Cartman who had been a miserable old witch since the days of his childhood. And had hit him round the head with a rather heavy book when he had been five years old and had tried to retrieve a baseball from her garden.

"I'll be back in a minute..." Joyce told them all, already getting up out of her seat, before rushing out of the living room. "Xander!" She called out as she pulled open the front door and walked over to him, "What are you doing here?"

Xander turned at the sound of her voice and wondered for a moment why did the Mom Look look actually good on her? With everyone else it just made them look like Mom...useless Moms perhaps, but still Moms. Like his Mom, Willow's Mom, even Cordelia's Mom either looked tacky in clothes that _weren't_ Mom Wear or frumpy in things that were. Mrs Chase certainly could not win.

"I uh was walking by on my way home," Xander told, "Happened to glance as a guy happens to and then saw you fraternizing with the enemy"

"Fraternizing..." Joyce shook her head in disbelief, "Xander, she's not Adolf Hitler"  
"Might as well be," He grumbled, "She's an old witch. Not the Willow variety either. The Roald Dahl kind. You know those ones with the purple eyes and no toes? She'd turn me into a mouse or stick my in a painting in a second if she knew she could get away with it" He glared in the direction of the house and Joyce laughed at him.

"You do know you're imagination runs away with you sometimes?"

"Hey," He shrugged, "Anything's possible on a Hellmouth." He frowned at Joyce, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Book Club," She replied, holding up her copy of _Deep End of the Ocean_ in evidence.

"Book club?" He repeated, wrinkling his nose in distaste and she gave him a little slap on the arm.

"Don't knock it," She told him, "I've been dwelling on Buffy so much...a neighbor thought it might be an idea to get a...a...hobby of some kind"

"Then can't you just paint pottery at _Over the Rainbow_ or something?" He asked her in all honesty, "Book Club is so...low"

"I actually quite like it," She admitted, "It's the members that drive me to the point of insanity"

"Then leave" He said simply and she stared at him.

"What?"

"You're not contracted to the thing, you don't like the people...so leave. There's other book clubs...I presume..."

"I can't just leave..." Joyce protested, "They're trying so hard to help me out. If I go now, it'll just hurt their feelings"

"Compassion is your and Will's downfall," Xander pointed out, "You should just-"

"Joyce," One of the women, Rita, called out to her from the doorway, "Are you coming back inside?"

"Erm..." Joyce looked back and forth from Xander to Rita and back again.

"Whose your friend?" Rita asked, her eyes landing on the teenage boy.

"Oh!" Joyce exclaimed as though only just realize he was there, "This is er..."

"Xander Harris" Xander announced, striding past Joyce and towards Rita, "I'm a friend of..of...the family." He said, not bothering to mention the only family members he'd ever met were just Buffy and Joyce, "And I'm here to join Book Club. Sounded fun."

"Wh-we're-" Rita protested non-sensically as Xander pushed past her and walked into the house. Joyce followed on, giving Rita a nervous look before walking into the house herself.

"Hello ladies," Xander grinned as he walked into the room where the rest of the book club members were gathered, "Hope you don't mind a Y chromosome joining in on the fun huh?"

"Well, I, uh-" Blanche clearly didn't know what to say.

"Joyce, is this young boy a friend of yours?" Pat smiled as Joyce walked into the room and the woman nodded with a smile that was definitely not as overly-friendly as Pat's was and instead leaned more towards the nervous variety.

"Yes, well...erm, that is..." Joyce sighed, taking a deep breath to clear her head as she took a seat, only realizing after she did so that she had sat next to Xander, "He's a friend of Buffy's. From her school"

"Oh you're a friend of Joyce's daughter?" Blanche was immediately interested and no longer thrown by the male addage to the group.

"Yep," Xander nodded, snatching Blanche's copy of the book away from her and flicking through it, "_Deep End to the Ocean_...that's the one with Michelle Pfeiffer, right?"

Joyce could not have been more grateful for how quickly and artfully Xander directed the conversation away from Buffy and thus avoiding any further questions that may upset her. He continued to do this for the rest of the club meeting. Letting matters roll as they should but anytime he saw Joyce getting close to anything that even resembled upset he jumped in with a witticism or an abrupt shift of topic. In other words, he was simply wonderful.

She told him so when she was driving him home later on.

"Thank you so much for that," She said whilst keeping her eyes on the road, "You were...they were making it pretty difficult in there, but you just kept swooping in, throwing me a life preserver or three"

"No problem," He said casually, "Plus can you just imagine me in a lifeguard jacket? I'd be like the epitome of cool"

She found herself laughing and as she realized that fact, she paused.

"What? What is it?" He asked, "You stopped laughing. Did I cease to be funny?"

"No," She assured him, "Not at all. It's just..." She pulled over just a few doors away from his house, "I've just realized that you're the only person who has been able to make do that since...since Buffy left"

"Do what?" He frowned.

"Laugh." She smiled, "Most other times I'm dwelling, or crying, or just trying to keep on going but you- you let me forget for just a little moment. It's nice, just to laugh to forget everything even if it's just for a second" She looked at him, "Thank you" She said with such deep sincerity that Xander found himself moved and not just a little thrown. It was a little disarming.

"Well," She smiled that little nervous smile that Xander found made him grin at her, "You'd best get inside," She told him, "Your parents will be wondering where you were"

"I doubt that," Xander said honestly and Joyce frowned at him with deep concern as though unsure whether he was joking or not. She decided it was safest just not to say anything.

"Well, I'm sure there won't be any problem when you tell them you were at a book club"

"Oh no, I won't be telling them that ever," He said to her, "First rule of Book Club, never talk about Book Club"

"You watch too many films" She laughed at him.

"Yes, but I made you do the laughing thing again" He pointed out, "You have a very nice laugh. You should do it more often"

"Well...I'll try..." She said with a smile, sounding slightly puzzled.

"I'd best get inside before people think we're spying on them or something," Xander said as he unbuckled his belt, "We live in a very paranoid area of Sunnydale" He added in explanation when he saw Joyce frowning in confusion.

"Ah"

"Thanks for the ride home" He told her, kissing her cheek almost without thinking and the two looked at one another, both trying to remember whether they had officially outlawed anymore kissing and if so, did cheek kissing fall under that category.

"You're welcome," She told him with another nervous smile and he nodded shyly before climbing out of the car, closing the door and heading towards his house.

It was only as she was driving away that Joyce realized she had had her hand to her cheek where he had kissed her the whole time they'd been talking and even while she had watched him walk into his house.


	4. Comfort 4

TheHermit242- Wow, that's all I can say- wow. Those were some pretty huge compliments you paid my writing there. Thank you very much. And now I really hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. Thank you very much for the review.

G120- Thank you for the review- I'm glad you're thinking I'm writing them correctly. I'm trying so hard to keep them in character because while this story is fun, I want it to be, well, believable as though it's totally conceivable.

Zigpal- "all hail Xander" is a phrase we should hear more often. And well, here are your owed smoochies. Haha

Rabidreject- I love that one line made you laugh so much, haha. And thank you for the writing compliment and the review.

* * *

"Hey Will, what time is it?"

"Time?"

"Yeah you know that thing that we measure with clocks and watches?" Xander prompted his friend who seemed more than a little distracted as they both lounged around in her room at home, her on the bed and he on the floor, his back propped up against her side table.

"Oh...uh...it's four PM" Willow finally answered glancing at her pink radio clock for the answer.

"Right, four o clock," Xander nodded, acknowledging the time briefly before realizing his friend had gone back to being distracted again, "Okay, Will what's up?"

"Up?"

"You have distraction face. Big time"

"It's nothing...or something..." She finally admitted, "It's just with Giles away in Boston on this new Buffy lead thing...I just can't get my mind off of it. I mean what if it is her? What if he finds her and then...she doesn't wanna come home? What about if he has to come home empty handed? Or worse, what if he's too late? What if she's gotten hurt? Or dead? And he instead finds her body being feasted upon by vampires and demons will attack and then he'll get killed as well and he won't come back and it will just be us here all alone wondering where they are for the rest of our lives until we see them on the news as mutilated bodies and-"

"Okay, stop the crazy Paranoia Train," Xander interrupted, grabbing her hands firmly to stop her in the middle of babbling panic fest, "None of that's going to happen. If he finds her, she'll come home. And she's a Slayer-she's not going to get hurt. The only thing that could happen is not finding her. He's been on wrong leads before"

"I know...I just..." Willow sighed, "Where could she be Xander?"

"I don't know, Will," Xander answered honestly, "I wish I did, but I just don't know".

He glanced over at the clock Willow had read the time from to him to remind himself what it was- now five minutes past four. He let go of Willow's hands and clambered to his feet, brushing his pants free of imaginary dust.

"I should go," He told her.

"Go?" She frowned, "Where?"

"J..Mrs Summers. She'll be back from her Book Club now," He explained but Willow only frowned some more.

"Why are you...she'll be fine Xander. A visit now and then yes, but she doesn't need...you're over there a lot lately," She commented and Xander sighed.

"Well she's been needing company a lot more these days," He looked at Will evenly, "You keep telling her you'll visit. Then you don't"

"I know I just..." Willow shifted uncomfortably on her bed, "I feel...weird around her. I wanna help her, I really do, but with her finding out about the Slaying and now Buffy gone and...it's just... I'm not as comfortable around her as I used to be. I'm there and I keep expecting Buffy to walk into the room from the kitchen. And she doesn't. I just can't do it."

"That's how she's been feeling every day Willow," Xander informed his friend somberly, "Like I said. I gotta go" He grabbed his jacket off the side, "I'll see you and Oz tomorrow"

* * *

He checked to see her car was in the driveway before going to knock on the door. It wasn't likely that she'd be out- except for Book Club and the rare trip to her work, she pretty much stayed at home beside the phone all day- but you never knew. After he rapped his knuckles on the wooden door twice it was only a few seconds before the door was flung open and he came face to face with a tear stained Joyce.

"Oh, Xander," She said in a way that suggested she was expecting someone else to be there. "Xander," She repeated in an entirely different tone, apparent disappointment over she now only seemed relieved to see him and as she burst into tears- most likely a continuation of the ones she had been crying before she opened the door- she flung her arms around him and started sobbing into his baggy top.

No matter what, this still felt weird to him. Anytime Joyce cried and she'd been doing it a lot. It was just teenagers were meant to be the emotional wrecks while adults and Moms were emotional rocks, always in control. But that wasn't how things played at Revello Drive anymore. He patted her back gently and a little awkwardly, still unsure as what qualified as naughty touching between the two of them, but since she had her arms wrapped as tightly around him as those toy monkeys with the magnetic hands, he figured a little sympathetic back patting wasn't going to do any harm. Oops, he was patting her hair instead which was a little too 'Good pet' for his taste. He used to think that whenever relatives patted him on the head when he was little. He moved his hand to the correct place so he was patting her back. Was he patting too much now? He wasn't going to make her sick as well as upset was he? Maybe he should just move back to the hair. Her hair always felt rather nice. But then they were back in 'Good Pet' zone. He gave up on the whole patting thing completely with a sigh and hugged her instead.

"What's up?" He asked when she pulled away from him. Her make-up hadn't ran despite the tears and he made a note to get the name of the make-up she used for Cordelia's sake- she was always complaining about Slaying wrecking havoc with make-up precision. Okay, why whenever he was looking at Joyce did his thoughts wander to the most random of places? Deep down he knew why but that's exactly why he had to keep thinking the random thoughts.

"Mr Giles...Rupert...he was...I was just on the phone to him a minute ago," She explained, stepping back to let Xander into the house and closing the door behind him, "He just got back from Boston"

"Did he find Buffy?" He cursed himself for asking that question, "Sorry, dumb question" He apologized, "I mean this doesn't look like tears of joy"

"He says that the girl his friend claimed to see Slaying vampires has already left Boston and was heading West. So it was either Buffy and he missed her or it wasn't Buffy at all and we still have no idea where she is..." She started sniffling, but stopping herself from crying completely again, "When the door went, I thought that maybe..."

"It was Buffy?" Xander finished understandingly and she nodded quietly.

"Silly, I know," She smiled that nervous smile that was becoming so increasingly familiar to Xander. She brushed at her eyes frantically with the sleeves of her sweater to wipe away any remaining signs that she had been crying and he was amazed at how much like Buffy she looked when she did that, "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Erm...I thought that was obvious," He laughed a little, "To see you. Check how things are going for ya...you know, the usual"

"Oh that's sweet Xander, but you really don't have to take time out of whatever you're doing to see me. I'm fine really," She assured him.

"I'm not taking time out of anything," He replied, "This is what I'm doing. And it's no problem- I like seeing you" He froze, "I mean seeing you're okay with the seeing not I'm seeing as in watching and..."

Joyce smirked at him before shaking her head with a smile.

"Come on, do you want something to eat?"

"That's a question that never needs asking," He grinned, before following her on into the kitchen where he found she must have already been in the middle of cooking when Giles phoned. Their was a chopping board on the side that was covered in only half-chopped vegetables. There was something in the oven and the radio was on playing some retro tunes.

"Elton John and Kiki Dee" He nodded at the silver radio with approval.

"I'm surprised," Joyce admitted, "Buffy always seems to think it's the Muppets version"

As though even the mention of Buffy's name could add a somber tone to their conversation the two quickly attempted to move past it.

"I was making a salad." She told him.

"Well, what's in the oven then?" He frowned in confusion. His Mom never cooked after all and so he wasn't really up on all things food and kitchen.

"Ham. Roasting," She explained as though to a child, "You put it with the salad..."

"Ah," He nodded, "Can I help? Not with the ham roasting. With the salad I mean. I can chop carrots, clean lettuce. Just call me the multi-tasking vegetable man"

She laughed at him, before passing him the chopping board and the accompanying vegetables. "You can do those. I'll work on the rest"

"Cool," He nodded, picking up the knife and looking uncertainly at the foods before him. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. So sneakily he glanced a sidewards look at how Joyce was doing it and mimicked her. But in a more manly fashion and the two soon fell into a comfortable silence.

"Don't go breaking my heart..." Xander murmured along with the music, bobbing his head.

"When I was down." Joyce found herself joining in quietly, but without the head bobbing.

"I was your clown" Xander sang the next line a lot louder in an almost over-the-top fashion and she glared over at him.

"I don't do duets," She joked.

"Wasn't asking," Xander said mock defensively before continuing, "Oh nobody told us! Because nobody showed us!" He started dancing along with the vegetable chopping and Joyce couldn't help but burst out laughing at him. He looked so ridiculous and he was playing to it completely, "Oh don't go breaking my heart!" He stopped suddenly. "This is why people always presume I'm gay isn't it?" He finally realized, but instead of prompting an answer it only caused Joyce to laugh even more. "Hey, I'm making you do the laughing thing again," He noted.

"It's hard not to," She admitted, her laughter trailed off softly until she was just smiling at him warmly, "You're very lovely, you know that"

"I bet you say that to all the guys," He replied, "Bet that's the real reason Giles is spending every dime on plane tickets. You've convinced him with your feminine wiles"

"Must you cheapen the moment?"

"Uh...yes?" He hedged an answer and she shook her head.

"I do mean it though- you are very lovely." She sighed, "It's nice. Having someone here again. A lot, I mean. And you're very kind to...to...well," She looked down nervously at her feet before glancing back up at him, "Just...I'm very grateful."

The two fell into a tense and heated silence and the sentimentality and sincerity of those words reached them both. The two of them seemed almost afraid to breathe for fear they would end up doing something they weren't supposed to. As she reached across for the bowl of lettuce beside him she avoided looking in his eyes, knowing if she saw that deep chocolate expression she'd go all Mrs Robinson again. She knew they were precariously close to one another as she lent over and she could feel his warm breath on her cheek making her skin tingle with the warmth. His lips were so close to brushing her cheek. She knew what would happen if she turned her head slightly, she had seen it so many times on movies so the sensible thing would be to not do it.

But she was just feeling so lost, sad and confused these past months. And Xander was the only one who was able to make her forget all that at any time. He allowed her an escape. Was it selfish of her to want to escape? Shouldn't her only want to be for Buffy to be home? But sometimes she just didn't want to think about that, she wanted to forget, to enjoy herself again and Xander allowed her that. In any context she needed him to some extent, but this was just pushing it too far. Neediness was no excuse for using somebody in this way. Didn't it always frustrate her when she saw the heroine using sex as an escape in films? She wanted to tell them to snap out of it, to stop using the person. And Xander was just a boy. Not even eighteen yet. What should she do?

She turned her head without consciously meaning to, and his lips were on hers. Bad Joyce. Naughty Joyce. Gosh, she was so going to hell. But by the way Xander was kissing her back though she knew she'd have company there. They shouldn't be doing this, they needed to stop, stop now. Why did Xander even want to do this? He was dating Cordelia wasn't he? Goodness knows he must prefer her but yet he was...with Joyce instead. Joyce really wished it wasn't such a nice feeling. Was this a midlife crisis? Or just a general crisis? He was kissing along her neck now, this would give her an opening to push him away to put a stop to this. But her hands just weren't doing what her brain wanted them to. They just let Xander kiss her in the kitchen. And oh the blinds were still up, what if the neighbors saw? He was kissing her on the lips again but she managed to turn slightly so she could reach her hands up for the blind string to pull block out the windows, and that's when she saw Oz. Watching them with an expression she couldn't read or rather with a lack of expression she couldn't read.

"Oh my god, Oz," She yelped and Xander couldn't have jumped further back if she'd pushed him and she fell back slightly against the kitchen side having been propped up by him till now.

"Oz? Oz! Oz?" Xander was frantic, "What's Oz doing here?"

"I don't know," She replied in a panicked tone, "No, wait, I do. He said he was going to stop by for a visit and to help around the house..."

"What? Are you like working the guys of the Scooby gang or something?" He asked in disbelief but she threw him an impatient look that told him this was not the time for jokes and he had to agree.

Smoothing out any creases in her shirt and pants, and patting any stray pieces of hair down she went to the back door and pulled it open, stepping out onto the porch.

"Oz," She called out, "Are you uhm, are you going to come in?"

"Sure..." He replied slowly, looking at the woman suspiciously before walking past her and into the kitchen. She closed the door and it was just the three of them stood quietly in the room. "Well, this is a- situation I would count as awkward" Oz acknowledged allowed but that was all he said.

Xander looked over at Joyce to say something, to persuade and mold the situation to their advantage like adults seemed to be able to whenever it suited them, but Joyce just stood there completely silent and at a total loss of what to say. It looked like it was up to him instead

"Oz-"

"Xander." He nodded back.

"What you saw was-"

"Two people both feeling abandoned by the most important person in their life and so finding inappropriate company in one another, an instance created by shared interests and an unfortunate tense and heated atmosphere emphasized by the fact it is a man and woman involved, despite concept of age"

"Wh-I-ay..oh..." Xander was speechless not so much at what Oz had said, but the fact Oz had said so much in any given time. He was Larconic Man after all.

"Oz," Joyce said, finally finding her voice, "I know you're proving..a level of understanding here, but I must ask you not to breath a word of this, to anyone, please. It wasn't even supposed to happen- it was an accident, we had stated that we weren't going to do that, ever. Except we keep messing up and maybe it's because of what you said, the reasons you said I mean, that we _do_ keep messing up because usually I'm so very in control about these things but with, well, Buffy gone and-"

"So it's happened before?" Oz interrupted and Joyce inwardly cursed herself.

"N-no..." She shakily replied, making it blatantly obvious that the answer was a lie. Eventually she sighed. "Oh I give up," And she turned away from both boys and resumed her preparations for cooking. At this complete shut off from the conversation Oz and Xander looked across the room at one another with raised eyebrows- was she really just going to forget about the conversation and what had happened? "Xander I believe you were finishing those. Oz would you like to help? You can stay for dinner if you'd like" The two boys looked at one another again: apparently so.

"Sure..." Oz nodded, stepping slowly towards the kitchen side to be assigned a cooking task.

* * *

Everything had been laid out in the appropriate place at the dining room table and Xander and Oz had already taken seats when there was a knock at the door. With a frown, Joyce wiped her hands on a dishcloth, keeping it in one hand as she headed to the front door, forgetting to peep through the three narrow windows before pulling it open.

"Mr Giles" She said in mild surprise, "What are you doing here?"

"I just ah wished to speak to you in person after our phone call," He admitted, "Perhaps discuss further as to where we may look for Buffy- uh, can I come in?"

She looked a little thrown by the question for a second, before gathering her bearings and she nodded.

"Oh, of course. Come on in," She stepped aside and he walked in the hall, which was when he caught a glimpse of the multiple place settings at the table, not actually noting the people sat in the places or the fact that he knew them.

"Oh you have company. I apologize ah, Joyce, I'll erm-"

"Oh don't worry about it," She assured him in the same overly polite tone she had developed a habit of using with him, "It's just Xander and Oz. They came by to check up on me and I was already making dinner. And..." She looked at Giles. She wasn't quite comfortable around him. Some part of her deep down inside saw him as the entire reason why Buffy was gone. He was the one who kept reminding her to be the Slayer, to disobey her Mother, to sacrifice everything. That's how she felt even if brain told her that wasn't fair or true. Pushing down those resentful feelings even further she smiled nervously at him before making the offer that was a conscious effort to put across, "Would you uh like to have some too? I'm sure I have plenty more." She looked down nervously at the ground, "I keep cooking too much...I keep thinking I have uh...Buffy to cook for too...so you wouldn't be intruding."

"Are you sure?" He asked her carefully, "It's not too much trouble?"  
"Oh no," She shook her head, "Not at all. Come on"

"G-Man," Xander said with surprise as he walked into the dining room to join the other occupants, "What are you doing here?"

"I've been roped into having dinner, and don't ever call me that" Giles replied smoothly, taking his own seat at the table.

"So you _are_ working all the Scooby Men...?" Xander looked over at Joyce mock-suspiciously and she immediately blushed.

"Now Xander," Giles reprimanded, feeling Xander was being out of line.

"No," Oz said, "He has a point. Three guys. One woman. Quite the Tom cat house"

Joyce turned a deeper shade of red, if that was even possible, before dashing off into the kitchen to get the food.

"That was rather unfair you two," Giles told them disapprovingly, "This is a very nice gesture of Joyce and you're making her uncomfortable in her own home"

Oz thought it was very ironic that Giles was the only one in the group entirely clueless to why such statements were causing Joyce to blush. It made for a change considering Joyce had always been the clueless one in the group.

After that, and as Joyce served dinner, they all fell into pleasant dinner conversation and she found herself able to forget about her worries and anxieties over Buffy. Yet again, she was able to achieve this while Xander was there; what an unexpected white knight he was turning out to be. But all three of them were playing a part in it this time. She thought of when Buffy would return home- and Joyce couldn't think that she wouldn't- and decided that maybe they should do this again when that time arrived. A dinner for Mr Giles and Buffy's friends. This was still comfort, but an entirely different kind.


	5. Comfort 5

Okay so I've been on a reallllllly long hiatus. But that is because my life has been crazy and it's only just lately calmed down enough to let me sit down, indulge and write. So I'm updating the story I've lately had a lot of reviews for. Hopefully those who really liked the story will still be there to see the update and enjoy this next chapter as much as the previous ones. There should be just one more chapter after this one I believe. Possibly two.

Enjoy

* * *

"I thought she would have come back by now"

"Admittedly you said that a week after she'd gone" Oz replied straightforwardly as he and Willow sat on the floor in his bedroom wood chips and badly carved stakes scattered around them. He was beginning to regret not taking woodwork at school.

"I know..." Willow shrugged, "But I always thought she would come back you know, before school starts and all. And with school starting tomorrow I feel like...."

"Like she's missing an important deadline?"

"Yeah," She replied in strong agreement, choosing to ignore the fact he was being dry humored, and instead took the question as serious, "I mean what if she isn't there tomorrow? No Buffy at school? My whole world will be askew"

"Considering she was expelled I'd find Buffy _at_ school surprising,"

"Oz, I'm serious," Willow protested as another chunk of wood from her stake carving attempts went flying across the room and landed in the small fish bowl containing one goldfish with a almost comical doosh-sound, "How can you joke? We don't know when Buffy's come back...or...or if at all...even. I mean we might not see her again....it makes me feel all ooky inside"

"I think it's safe to say Mrs Summers is feeling ooky too," Oz pointed out as he eyed up his stake, deemed it vampire-stake-able and tossed it in with the 'use' pile.

"Oh!" Willow let out a little squeak, "I still haven't been to see her, and I kept telling Xander I would. He's getting kinda miffy with me over I think...." She wriggled on the floor uncomfortably at the thought.

"I think Xander's kinda protective guy over her at the moment," Oz said, thinking briefly over what he had almost walked in a couple of weeks ago when he had ended up having dinner there with Xander and Giles.

"I mean I wasn't even there when you guys all had dinner together with her..." Willow continued, apparently having not heard Oz's comment due to being lost in her own thought, "I'm a bad daughter's friend. I should be there...seeing and you know, being helpful. I'm miss friendly help girl with everyone else, you know?"

"I had noticed," Oz nodded in agreement. He didn't carry on to say that Willow had all but outright avoided Mrs Summers since the day Buffy disappeared. He didn't know whether it was due to the fact Willow felt responsible, whether she was afraid of how Mrs Summers would talk to her now she knew the big Buffy is the Slayer secret or whether Willow perceived Buffy's Mom as a painful reminder of Buffy's absence. It wasn't that Buffy being gone had affected Willow more than her other friends, but rather than Willow was more sensitive and emotional about it.

"I'll go." She finally said decisively, "After school tomorrow. Before school. After....maybe during lunch? We can leave campus now after all...but I don't know...I don't wanna be late getting back. I'll go after," She nodded in conclusion before putting her final stake down and looking out the window at the fading light. Sunset was now a deep purple and covered the town in shades of such. "We'd should get going to meet Xander at the cemetery. It'll be almost completely dark soon."

Oz agreed and stood up, grabbing a few of their stakes on the way. Willow however struggled to uncross her legs and get into a standing position as she winced due to cramp.

"My left foot is dead- owie, owie!" She exclaimed, shakily getting to her feet and putting a hand on his desk to prop herself up. "We got stakes?"

"We're armed"

"Then we'd better go," She concluded limping over to him and then out the room with Oz following behind.

* * *

Come and Get It Big Boy. What kind of hell Slayer line was that? If Willow was going to continue to be step-in girl then she was gonna have to step up the whole bad-ass talk angle. Okay so Oz hadn't given the best stake throw as it had rebounding harmlessly and anti-climatically off a rock, and he, Xander, had been tossed around like a doll in all truth....but the vampire had been on the gymnastics team when he was alive so he definitely had a distinct advantage. Still their slay ratio was not good....they were losing half the vamps. And they were still missing three scoobies- Giles was never there to help with Slaying he was too busy following up leads and when he wasn't following them up he was searching for them, Cordelia wasn't coming back from her vacation until the day of returning to school so he wouldn't see her tomorrow....Cordelia. He allowed his mind drift there as he walked down the Sunnydale streets. He hadn't seen Cordelia in a big long while. He was excited to see her...for more than one reason. I mean he missed Cordelia- shocker, but true- and her being back would release him from singledom, but there was another side reason. Cordelia being back would mean less on the slip-ups with Joyce. Probably. He hoped. It'd better. Admittedly though there hadn't been any slip-ups at all lately. Not since the dinner when Oz had nearly walked in on them and then Giles had joined them for dinner. Sure he'd seen Joyce plenty of times since then but it was usual just to talk, sometimes to watch a movie or to help with groceries. Your basic keeping company helperoony. But that's the way it should be. Way less complicated and way more legal. But still.....he always had that little tiny hope deep down inside that he tried to squash everytime he went over there.

Cordelia being back would push all this to the back of his mind he was sure of it. But then another thought came to the fore- what if Cordy didn't want to push it to the back his mind? That is what if she didn't want to date him anymore? Things changed during vacation after all? What if she met someone else? What if she changed her mind? Dear god, were they even dating anymore?

He was so lost in his thoughts of panic over being thrown back into the cruel world of high school singledom without even being aware that it had happened to him that he stopped truly paying attention to where he was going and did not notice the woman stood in the middle of the sidewalk waving at someone until he walked directly into her.

"Oh," The woman gasped as she toppled over a little and Xander grabbed her elbow before she could fall on the ground unceremoniously. He looked at the woman and thought he recognized her vaguely. Before he could place the face he heard his name being called from another direction and so looked around in confusion for the source until his eyes landed on Joyce looking at him in mild surprise from her front doorstep, the yellow let from inside the house pouring out from behind onto the front lawn in the night.

"Hey," He replied lamely waving a little, before returning to look at the woman whose elbow he still had a hold of and recognized her as the woman from Joyce's book club; Pat. "Oh hello," He said letting go of her.

"Hi," She replied with a smile that made Xander take a step back. Joyce may not mind being taken under her wing but Xander certainly did.

"Sorry about you know walking into you," He apologized, "Mind be gone elsewhere...."

"Mm-hmm," Pat nodded, smiling some more, "Not a problem." She turned back to Joyce, "I'll see on Thursday dear for Book Club, yes?"

"O-oh, yes, uh, bye Pat" She waved a little and taking this as a sign that she could indeed leave now, Pat set off across the road to her own house, "Xander aren't you going to come in?" Joyce asked. Xander had set off walking again but at the sound of this question he stopped with a little jolt.

"Oh uh, sorry, thought....it's late you know....don't wanna keep you up...because being kept up I find is not the best thing...I mean people have coffee late at night and it's not even de-caf and I think, why? You're just going to be up all night and I find night...yes, night should be erm, used for sleeping and other such nightly things...like, um, um, reading and watching late night TV....and sleeping." He stopped himself.

"Well I was about to put on a movie before Pat stopped by," Joyce told him, "And since it has to be back at the rental store by tomorrow evening I don't intend on wasting it"

Maybe it was the invitation of warmth he knew would greet him the moment he stepped into 1630 Revello Drive, maybe it was the fact Joyce never watched a movie without popcorn or M&Ms or maybe it was the fact that he didn't like the image that popped in his mind of Joyce having to watch a video alone because Buffy wasn't there beside her, hogging the couch as Xander presumed she did (She seemed like a couch hogger) but only moments later Xander found himself settling into a seat in front of the TV as the VCR loaded the video, a bowl of sweet popcorn in his lap.

The video in question was an oldie but a goodie- _A Hard Day's Night_

"I was a big Beatles fan," Joyce explained as they watched the opening sequence of thousands and thousands of girls chasing after the fab four, "Still am," She amended, "But back then...I liked them before the craze even hit the US. Or at least that's how I remember it," She laughed.

He watched as she laughed at herself, remembering childhood and teenage fantasies and obsessions. He loved her laugh, but for some reason he could never recall hearing it before....before this Summer's events. But then when Buffy was still around (was around before, he automatically corrected himself. He was forgetting Will's past tense rule again) he had spent no where near as much time with Joyce as he had done in the past few months. And since those brief instances either involved her as solely Mom Capacity or post-demon/post-possession instances it was no wonder he hadn't seen her have a good laugh. How ironic was it that now he was seeing it so often in what was undoubtedly the most traumatic and unlaughable time of her life.

"Do I have food in my teeth or something?" She asked him, eyes widening slightly with worry and he realized he had continued looking at her through his thought process (He really should learn to stop doing that. He knew from experience that constant staring could be unnerving).

"Wha- no, no, no no" he shook his head emphatically, "I was just thinking I hadn't heard your laugh before this summer. I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean a good way- that is I like it. Not the not hearing it before part- that I neither like nor dislike. I mean it's just, erm, a fact"

He looked back to her to find she was no longer laughing nor was she even smiling any longer.

"What's the matter?" He asked in immediate concern, sitting up a little in his seat so he was leaning towards her, "I didn't mean...I didn't say the wrong thing did I? I didn't mean it in a insult-y way......it didn't sound...?"

"No," She said, shaking her head, "It's just....I feel guilty when I do laugh"

"Why?" He asked, frowning.

"Because...I should be spending every minute worrying about my daughter. I mean for all I know she could be....be......" The next word was mumbled, before Joyce continued on at a normal volume level, "...in a ditch somewhere and here I am having a good time!" She threw her hands up in the air, exaggerating the devil-may-care attitude she believed she was describing.

"Having a good time?" Xander repeated in disbelief, looking at her intently, "Surely that's not....Joyce, I don't think I'm wrong in saying I've seen you quite a lot of these past few months....and I've seen the good, the bad and well....quite frankly, the sexy"

"Xand-" She began to interrupt him, looking admonished by the latter comment, but he held up a hand to stop her.

"No, let me finish," He told her, "I have seen you by that phone, rush home from shops so fast to get back you almost ran over Uncle Rory....admittedly he was probably too drunk to even notice he was crossing the road, but still, my point is no matter it is that what've you been doing to carry on living- whether it's book club, making dinner for me Oz and Giles or just laughing at something you find funny," He took both her hands in his gently, "You have never stopped worrying and hoping for Buffy. It's for her that you keep on doing those day to day things, because when she comes back you have to be here for her, like you always are. If you didn't do these things and just allow yourself to be every once in a while, you wouldn't be." He saw there were glistening signs of tears in her eyes and his heart clenched in panic, "Oh I haven't said the wrong thing again have I?"

"No," She shook her head and pulled one hand away from his to wipe away the threatening tears before they could develop fully, "You've said exactly the right thing. You always do. Oh, I just wish you'd realize it"

"Who says I don't?" He countered, "I mean no one likes an uber horn-tooter"

She gave him a kiss on the cheek which left a slight burgundy lipstick stain there.

"Whoops," She smiled, smudging it away with her fingers, but before she could take her hand away he held it there with his own. It was moments like this when the logical part of his brain knew, and repeatedly told him, that this was wrong. He should not like the feel of his friend's mother's hands on his skin, but he did. She had the best hands...although her nails were sometimes manicured into painfully sharp perfection. He still had that mini scar on the back of his hand.

She looked at him fondly as he held her hand. He was so young yet so much older than his years in other ways. With everyone he had gone through since she and Buffy had moved to Sunnydale, it was no wonder. But throughout that it didn't destroy any part of his kindness or tenderness....really she didn't understand why he always found it hard to get a date. Until Cordelia. Cordelia. At this thought she tensed. Cordelia. His girlfriend. The girlfriend his own age. What the hell was she doing?

She didn't have a chance to continue her thought process because Xander's lips were suddenly upon hers and all thoughts didn't so much fly out of her head as fade to a very distant hum that was extremely easy to ignore. How was he such a good kisser already? Surely that was something in the genes and not something learned. And now he was gently pulling away from the kiss.  
"Where," She was a little breathless and so she took a moment, "Where did...why did you...?"

"Well," He shrugged, they were still holding hands, "For two reasons. The first is you had that look in your eyes you get when you're thinking one of two things- Either you feel guilty for not currently actively thinking about Buffy _or_ you've just had a very senisble thought which usually ends up with my having to leave- _so_ kissing seemed a good way to stop that. And the second reason...." he shrugged again this time with goofish embarrassment, "you're perdy?" He shook his head in disbelief, "Ah, that was bad"

She smiled "Yes, yes it was," She agreed, "But regardless, it was very sweet as always" She gave him another kiss "You're a great....well, I know this might be what my Mother use to call a backhanded compliment, but please know that I mean this in an entirely good way, but...you're a great comfort, you know that?"

He looked at her, drinking in every detail and saw in the flickering of her eyes that she was doing the same with him, and realized that since he had been here at Joyce's he hadn't thought once on her worries over Cordelia, back to school, Buffy or the fact his parents were "at odds" again. This was a comfort for him too.


	6. Comfort 6

Rabidreject- hey you! Thanks for the review and so glad you're still here. I don't know whether I will be _continuing_ the Cocorific but I think I can say for sure that there will be stories set _within_ the Cocorific Verse.

Jason Barnett- Thanks for the review. As for the Beatles thing I was going off of my Mother's memories of them. She's around the same age as Joyce give or take (well she was when the show was on. Meaning she still is theoretically...if you know, the character hadn't been killed off!) and she was a big fan of them when she was a little girl, before she was bordering on her teens. It was her older sisters who were lusting after them though ;). Also she said that she liked to remember it as she liked them before their big hit in the US. Doesn't necessarily mean it's true....teehee.

G120- thanks for the big compliments and the lovely review. I'm so glad you're still here reading. And congratulations on the apartment!

KirijamaScion- bow down to the summoner of authors. Or maybe you just have really good timing, haha. Thanks for the review.

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A/N: Now there's only one more chapter after this guys and then it's finished, so be wary of a conclusion on the horizon. Also I'm really on board with the shipping of Cal and Gillian in Lie to Me so if you're a fan of that show be on the look out for those kind of stories from me in the near future, haha.

* * *

The phone was ringing. Joyce couldn't put down the kitchen rag fast enough to get to the hand set. She grabbed the phone fiercely and was lightly out of breath when she said 'hello' into the reciever. She unconsciously stopped breathing as she waited for someone...Buffy....to reply on the other end. But the voice that returned her greeting was not her daughter's and she let out a small sigh of disappointment as she recognized the dictum of Rupert Giles on the end of the line.

"M...Joyce?" Giles asked hesitantly and she realized she still had not replied to _his_ hello.

"Oh Mr Giles...." What else was she supposed to say? She forced herself to remember her manners, "How are you?"

"Oh, ah, fine, thank you and you?"

"I've been better" She admitted, a grim tone to her voice.

"Ah yes, of course. Obviously," He agreed and she could see him in his mind's eye nodding, eyes to the ground, afraid to make eye contact. "I was just calling to let you know....I...I have another lead."

"Lead?" She repeated. How she had heard of so many of these so-called leads.

"A friend of mine...spotted a girl fighting off vampires in Oakland, not two nights ago. There's a plane that leaves in a few hours which, ah, I will be on"

Joyce remained silent

"If she's there, I will find her and bring her back Joyce," He told her, willing her to be reassured with every syllable of his words, but he knew the effort was wasted. She wouldn't be happy until Buffy was back safe and warm at home. He knew and understood.

"I know" She said eventually.

"Well," He said forcing this non-conversation into some form of a conclusion, "I shall see you when I return then,"

"Yes," She agreed, "Bye"

He had barely finished saying goodbye himself when she had already returned the reciever to it's cradle, hanging up. It wasn't that she was trying to be rude but it was just so hard. To keep having disappointment everytime she opened the door, answered the phone, read the mail....and these leads of Rupert's! One after the other, building up hope and the fall of disappointment was increasingly worse every single time, she just didn't know how much more she could take.

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She was getting more and more frosty with him, he thought, as he put the phone down. Buffy would have called it "stand-offish". He knew these leads so often lead to dead ends- well, every single time really but....that didn't mean he should stop did it? No. Better to be doing something useless than nothing at all. He did not envy Joyce's job of waiting for the phone or door. But what else could she do? If Buffy needed her she needed to be there didn't she? So Giles would use all his wages to take flight after useless flight to try and find Buffy. Where on earth could she be?

* * *

"Oakland. I mean why on earth would she be in Oakland?" Joyce asked her audience of one angrily as she chopped at vegetables with equal fervour, "I mean how likely is that?"

"About as likely as her being anywhere else?" Xander replied before he could stop himself and he was rewarded with a silent glare.

"No," She said emphatically, "No. She's..."

"What? Still in the Greater Los Angeles area?" Xander scoffed, "Joyce, that's not very likely. She knows we'd find her too easily"

"You're not being very helpful"

"And you're not being very appreciative of the effort Giles is making," Xander replied. He didn't want to be like this but he was automatically defensive of Giles- the man had almost been in the same wreck Joyce had been and it wasn't easy flying here there and everywhere to find one girl. Joyce was distraught and upset, but she shouldn't pin blame on Giles. If anyone, it should be Angel. And technically Ms Calendar, god rest her soul.

"Effort?" Joyce repeated, slamming down the knife on the chopping board, "Effort? How about effort for not leading to her leaving in the first place? How about effort to let her not be the Slayer, to not have to have responsibilities too great for someone her age. She's seventeen years old for God's sake and he had her out there doing....I don't know what and you think I should appreciate his effort?"

"Giles doesn't really have a choice in her being the Slayer you know....the choosing is not so much with the choosy as with the no-way-out" Xander explained, trying to prevent her from getting her into a further tirade, "You know that"

"Oh God, where do you think she is?" Her mood suddenly switched to one of sadness and worry.

"I don't know," Xander admitted with a sad shrug of the shoulders, "I just....I think we'll find her when she wants to be found. Until then, I don't know whether there's a point any of us looking. N-not that l-looking isn't a good way to go about things of course," He quickly amended at another look from Joyce.

Luckily for Xander, at that moment there was a knock on the door, and he saw Joyce's hands tense on the kitchen counter.

"I think it's Will," He explained, trying to prevent her getting her hopes up only to be disappointed, "She said on the way home the other night that she was planning to"

"Oh," The word of acceptance was barely audible before she wiped her hands on a red kitchen towel and headed out of the room to open the front door.

* * *

"Hi Mrs Summers," Willow smiled nervously from the door step when the door was opened to her, "Sorry it's taken me a while to get here....you know, busy uh, busy busy...." Her eyes looked to the ground, avoiding eye contact and showing shame.

"Come in Willow"

"Thanks, how are you Mrs Summers?" Willow asked politely as the two of them walked back into the kitchen where Xander was waiting.

"I'm fine Willow, thank you," She replied, "How was, uh, how was school?"

"O-oh good, hey Xander," She interrupted herself as she took a seat next to him on another school, "A little crazy, but you know, first days are.....and....." She trailed off, searching for something else to say but then her eyes brightened as she landed on a topic, "Hey, did uh, Giles tell you about his, uh lead? I mean you know even if he doesn't you know.....he could find someone who does know...you know?"

There was tension in the air at the mention of Giles and his Buffy-finding-escapade attempts.

"Ix-nay on the Iles-gay" Xander murmured out of the corner of his mouth to his best friend, but unfortunately Joyce heard it.

"Giles, huh?" She repeated, clucking her tongue impatiently, "What is it with you guys and Mr Giles?"

"Uh....he's our British mascot?" Xander attempted to joke.

"It's always Giles this and Giles that. Does he have the final word on everything with you?"

"Well not exactly final...." Willow muttered, "I mean we-"

"I mean do you ever consider that he continually puts you all in danger, he just lets you take extreme risks, the amount of times you all must have come close to being killed and he just _lets_ you carry on jumping right into the fray! I m-"

"Wait a minute!" Xander interrupted loudly, unable to stand anymore words against Giles. She may be upset but Giles was a good man, "Giles doesn't make us do anything. It's our choice"

"And he let's you make it! If he any decency about him he wouldn't allow you to-"  
"Giles does all he can," Xander defended, "He's as much bound by duty as Buffy was- is."

"Why are you defending him?" Joyce demanded and Willow felt that for some reason, the two of them had forgot she was in the room, "You know the hell I've been through"

"And Giles is not the reason for it!"

"Then who the hell is?"

"Angel, Buffy herself, Spike, the Kalderash gypsy people who did the stupid curse, Snyder, the police, you!" The "you" had just slipped out and he immediately regretted it. She looked at him with such hate in her eyes that he feared he would burn in his seat right there. He waited for the anger to come, to lash out and attack him. But it didn't. Only silence hung in the air, hanging thickly between them all. Calmly Joyce turned away to put the kitchen utensils she had been using in the sink. She then turned back around to look at Xander. The instant anger was gone from her eyes, but it had been replaced by an even harsher cool glaze.

"Get out," She said as though she were saying bye to the mail man in the morning. The casualness of the tone made it all the worse.

"Jo-" He began but she cut him off.

"I said, get out"  
"I didn't-"

"Willow," She turned to her daughter's best friend with a small smile that was so obviously forced, "Could you please take Xander home for me."

"Sure," Willow nodded, not looking at the woman directly.

"Thank you"

"Come on Xander, let's go," Willow said quietly, tugging on his arm. He eventually began to leave with her, but he didn't take his eyes off Joyce who was deliberately ignoring him until he had left the room.

Joyce waited until she heard the front door close behind the two of them and then she burst into tears at the the kitchen counter.


End file.
